Comedy Central is well known for their celebrity roasts. They’ve even held a roast of the current Republican presidential nominee for president, Donald Trump, back in 2011.
Although the roasts generally do have jokes (insults) directed at others as well as the actual roastee, this year’s roast of Rob Lowe could be considered a serving of roasted Ann Coulter with a side order of Rob Lowe. According to Entertainment Weekly, the best jokes that night were dedicated to the horrible existence of the conservative pundit that is Coulter, and Lowe even looked neglected. All in all, Coulter suffered hilarious insults for three hours during the taping.
Coulter even joked about the fact that she was the center of attention, joking, “I want to welcome everybody to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe.” Coulter also reportedly bombed when she briefly took the mic. So, why would someone so wholly unfunny and sickeningly conservative appear on something like a Comedy Central roast filled with Hollywood’s funniest liberals?
Lowe answered backstage, “I think the best daises are the daises that have people where you’re like, what the (expletive)? You need every flavor to make these things go right and cut them all together for a show.”
Coulter also joked (but not really joked) during the taping, “It has nothing to do with the book I published four days ago.” Variety also reports she was booed while she promoted her new book, In Trump We Trust, and Pete Davidson got more laughs than Coulter did when he made a sarcastic face at a joke she failed to pull off.
The insults hurled at Coulter range from family-friendly (kind of) to far from family-friendly. The roast included the usual veterans but also included many first-timers such as Peyton Manning, Jewel, Nikki Glaser, and Ralph Macchio. Veterans included Jeffrey Ross, Pete Davidson, British comedian Jimmy Carr, Rob Riggle, and David Spade as roastmaster. Every roaster, including Lowe himself who wrapped the show-up, had something to say to or about Coulter. Here are some of the best lines.
“How do I roast someone from Hell? Ann, you are the only woman ever to sexually harass Roger Ailes.” – Jeffrey Ross
“Ann is against gay marriage. What is your thinking on that? If I can’t get a husband, they can’t either?” – Jeffrey Ross
The lineup of roasters was painfully whitewashed, but comedians blamed that on Coulter: “God, it’s white up here. It’s the only way we could get Ann Coulter, though.” – Nikki Glaser
“Ann Coulter and no black people? What are we roasting? A cross?” – Pete Davidson
“I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.” – Jewel
“Ann, you are awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.” – Nikki Glaser
“I just realized that I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.” – Peyton Manning
“She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan. It looks like she’s having a good time. I haven’t seen her laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot.” – David Spade
“Ann Coulter wants to help Trump make America great again. You can start by wearing a burka. You have a face that would make doves cry.” – Jeffrey Ross, who was dressed as Prince.
“That voice, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard in an inner-city school you want to defund.” – Jeffrey Ross
“After seeing your set tonight, we’ve seen the first bombing you can’t blame on a Muslim.” – Rob Lowe
“Everyone is asking, why is Ann Coulter here tonight? Because the right-to-lifers wanted everyone to see what abortion looks like up close.” – Rob Lowe
“Ann has never had kids. She is so anti-immigration, her vagina won’t allow any more in the country.” – Rob Lowe
Jimmy Carr, however, took the cake with what could be considered the worst insult of the night, joking “Ann is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face bitches alive. It’s not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself.”
The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe (or Ann Coulter) will air on Labor Day on Comedy Central at 10 p.m. ET.
Featured image Getty/Alberto E. Rodriguez.